Calvinists believe the game is fixed.
 
Lutherans believe they can't win, but trust the Scorekeeper.
 
Quakers won't swing.
 
Unitarians can catch anything.

Latter Day Saints play the outfield for two years.
 
The Amish walk a lot.

Presbyterians argue over the rulebook.
 
Pagans sacrifice.
 
Jehovah's Witnesses are thrown out, at home, often.
 
Televangelists get caught stealing.
 
Episcopalians pass the plate.
 
Evangelicals make effective pitches.
 
Fundamentalists balk.
 
Adventists have a seventh-inning stretch.
 
Atheists refuse to have an Umpire.
 
Baptists want to play hardball.
 
Catholics claim the Pope has never committed an error.